Today is lame. I'm at home on a friday night, greg's at butlers, my friends are all at a 21st I wasn't invited to, my dad just left for Australia for 3 weeks, I have pms, I am actually tired (never thought I would say this) of lame series on TV, my grandpa's friends just arrived and they are very nice but wont stop talking and I just ordered a pizza from butlers that was cold and my mum forgot the avo.. am just a grumpy girl so shall go to sleep and hopefully wake up better. This whole weekend is going to be pretty crap, I'm not going to Billy Talent or running the race so wont see the girls, and greg's pretty much working the whole weekend except on Sunday which he has declared "boy's night"... bromance much? So yes, I am very sorry for myself. Maybe will try and be productive for a change. Greg ordered me to get a canvas today and to find my paints. I felt sad when I found them, they were strewn all over my cupboard and desk, gathering dust so to speak. It was a nice feeling to hold all my old paintbrushes again, and to smell that painty smell. So yes, I am finally going to actually pull myself together and start a painting. Enough feeling sorry for myself, I will use this time! I just need to decide what to paint now. I've narrowed it down to 2 options, a woman with a baby on her back or this little girl who I think is so sweet, she has so much attitude! I love the Zambian people, they were generally so positive and friendly, with such a beautifully uncomplicated view of life. Those children broke my heart though, they all crowd around the car and yell "sweetie sweetie" with hands outstretched. I wanted to give them all sweets, but the kids that asked for books and pens to write with really got to me. The little villages we drove past had nothing, and were totally isolated. There were lots of schools around, but often the kids had to walk 20k just to get to class, and then sit through 6 hrs of school with no break and no food, I don't know how any child can function under those conditions. I think that there is a huge problem with the tourists giving the children sweets, it seems to corrupt a whole way of life, that functions perfectly when there is no interference. But then there are the children asking for books and education, surely that is something we should aid them with? Or is that just another way to impose Western education and values on them? I don't know, I just felt I wanted to go and work with the kids, teach them and actually just cuddle them, they grow up so quickly, I saw 7 year olds with wood twice their size on their heads, and 6 year olds carrying tiny babies and water. I wish I could make a difference, it sounds so cliche but its the way I feel. My dad is busy with a project to build an orphanage and creche at the moment in one of the township areas, I'm going to get more involved.
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