catch up...

So its been a little while and quite a lot has happened so lets try to catch up :)

Last week= awful... million essays to finish that I left to the last minute as usual- got to stop doing that... consequently put myself under too much pressure and I think produced three rather crappy essays that wont get me in postgrad sigh. moving on.

Friday a long time ago... helz arrived- surprise visit for jessi's birthday- lovely to see her, had cocktails at banana jam yum. went home worked like sad loser on a friday night. blegh.

Sat: Jessi's 21st! amazing night! had so much fun :) theme was rockstars and groupies so we all dressed up as jessi's groupies (made jess t- shirts) cos she's our rockstar :P It was at kelvin, had yummy awesome food, and saw lovely people, danced most of the night away, laughed at greg's afro (I hope he loses it- it looks terrible!), then slept at jess's house with the girls :) Woke up next morning, gave jess her present then had to scuttle off home to essay again ggrrrrr :( Spent Sunday working. sigh. 

Mon: Essays due. Handed in 2 of them and started the english one fml.

Tues: eng essay

wed: handed in eng essay- FREEEDDDDDOOMM! at last! Ummmmm its not going to get me in postgrad tho. mmmm not thinking bout that. too scary. 

Thurs: Shaun's 21st :) Got ready at lorzi's house- theme was everything looks better with a mustache which was fantastic! I was weirdly attatched to my new facial hair, that was so big it covered my mouth... made eating a problem which is fatal for me, so ditched it temporarily for a curly mustache bethi drew on for me with eyeliner :) Had fun with the girls at shaun's, lovely to just chill and chat :) 

Fri: Early morning 4:00 start ugh ugh ugh. not morning person at all so was a struggle. Got to airport with 20 min to spare raced to check in desk only to be told I wasn't on the flight. Mum ran to ticket reservations who told us they cancelled mum and my tickets- no further explanation given. Had to buy 2 new tickets- extra 12 grand. Mum and me could only get on later flight. Arrived in joburg ran all around airport from counter to counter trying to change ticket that SAA messed up in the first place- everyone was extremely unhelpful and rude and unfriendly- got sent from desk to desk for four hours. Gave up, cried and missed Kath's hen party. So crap. Finally arrived in zim at 7, tired and grumpy, but happy to see family at last! awful day. 

Sat: Stayed with chris in zim- awesome to see him :) He made us brekkies- first time he's used his stove in a year hehe :) Spent day with my family which made me so happy, I adore my family and rarely get to see them so it was special! Most of my family live in borrowdale brook in harare, and my uncle and aunt are 5 min away from it, so everyone was close by :) Went to uncle ant's house which is absolutely gorgeous- they have a garden full of trees that reminded me of my gran, whose presence I could feel the whole time I was in Zim. Ant has taken back one of our childhood books from the farm that was taken from us, I remember gran reading it to me- I could hear her voice in my head which made me miss her incredibly.

Sun: Walked from chris's house to sue and dave's (aunt and uncle), spent morning with kath doing wedding prep, laughing at her hair (curlers didn't quite work out how they were meant to hehe ) and spending some time chatting to her which was lovely, because she's like my sister and I've missed her. She was amazingly calm and sure of her decision to marry darren, she is a strong Christian and God gave her a lot of peace the whole time before the wedding. Later we all left for the Wild Geese, where the wedding was and spent the afternoon getting ready- we were so relaxed- ate toasted sandwiches and chips an hour before the ceremony :P Then we all rushed into action- dresses on, hair piece in, make up applied, and then helped kath to get into her beautiful dress! It was strapless with beading down the front, very simple but absolutely gorgeous on her. We get to the door of the church and I started choking up and trying hard not to cry, the doors opened and I walked down the aisle. The ceremony was lovely, it was very personalised as Kath and Darren knew the priest well, and he made it a tribute to both of them- their goodness and love. My dad did some readings, then Kath handed me her bouquet, the rings were exchanged they signed the register and it was all over, they were Mr and Mrs Denholm :) I am so happy and proud of my cousin, I have so much admiration for her- she's had a lot of trials to overcome to get to the point of marriage and she's overcome all of them, never doubting that Darren was the one- I hope I feel like that when I get married. We went to have photos after that, which I'm pretty sure I'll look terrible in! They were taken by a dam in a game park with the sun just setting so should be stunning light. We went back to the reception, I was honoured I was sitting with Kath and Darren :) Then we ate good food, chatted, laughed, heard speeches- Darren's was amazing- all about his and Kath's plans and his love for her- made me choke up again, and then the first dance happened. ugh that was awful! I had to dance with one of the groomsmen and I can't dance so kept tripping over his toes and shuffled round in circles. I solemnly swear I will go to dancing lessons one day, will drag greg with me ha! I had a dance with my dad which was so nice :) We were both terrible but that didn't matter :) Danced for a while, chatted, caught up more with my family, then left for home and collapsed into bed exhausted. Such a happy, lovely day :)

Monday: Had breakfast with the family at Wild Geese. Spent time with my aunt miekes- she fetched mum and me and we went with my other aunt trish and my cousin la, to a craft market which was great :) Saw some lovely things.. Then we had to say goodbye to everyone which hurt, because I don't know when I'll see them again. Had supper at Chris's, then had an early night, still tired after the wedding. The next morning flew at 7:20, and strated the epic journey home. Got home at 2, unpacked, chilled, caught up with people, then went for supper with greg :) 

Picked up my bridesmaid dress today yay! lovelovelove it, though its in that clingy material which means that I can't eat for a week if I don't want to look like a stuffed walrus walking down the aisle :P Below is a rather optimistic drawing of self in dress... it has a sweetheart neckline, with black lace along the edge and chest to form an empire waist :) 

Today I had a really terrible english test, so instead of feeling bleak I'm going to think of 5 good things I have to be grateful for at the moment...

1. I had an awesome nap yesterday :)

2. Jessi's 21st on Sat... so excited!!!

3. almost Kath's wedding and my bridesmaids dress is done yay, picking it up tmrw, and starving myself this week so I can fit into it!

4. Snuggles and cuddles

5. Saw kimmi, jess and lorz today :) 

pictures from chapman's peak during the holidays :)

Beach Day!

Lovely lovely day! Beautiful weather, beautiful food, beautiful people :) I am the official leader of the brunch club haha, we meet 2- 3 times a month at a different venue for brunch- the best of all meals :) So this Sat we went to the olympia cafe in kalk bay for yummy yummy croissants that made me a very happy girl mmmmm

Then we walked to the beach stopping at a few shops en route- I saw so many things I want to get my little paws on, but no money no money! Birthday soon though ;)

The beach was absolutely amazing, there was a whale extremely close in, which made me very excited! We made sandcastles, we laughed, we played football, we tanned (or just burned in my case) we chatted and we wave hopped and it was lovely.

From the beach we went to Brass Bell and had chips and then we went across the road to the ice cafe for the best ice cream in the whole wide world... I had honeycomb and pina colada flavour- amazing :) 

Summer is here, and I am a very happy little fish, can't wait for the next outing to the beach, there will be many :) Though this week is going to be awful- 3 essays and a test ugh, but not going to think about that now! 

I'm tired today, very tired. I am meant to be at karaoke right now, but I actually am just not up to it tonight, much as I know it will be awesome and embaressing and amazing.. I'm kind of cross with myself for not going, because I wanted to see my friends, and I really wanted to spend some time with the guys that will be there, who I've kind of lost touch with, which makes me sad, but is mostly my fault. I find it really difficult to stay in touch with people, I don't know why, I think I'm just stupidly shy so I get scared people don't reli want to see me etc, so lame I know, I guess I just think I'm kind of boring. Which is true, I mean I am sitting at home right now, but still, I need to get over it. Greg's cousins are down from aus at the moment and my gosh they are different! They are really nice, but also loud, obnoxious and constantly trying to push my buttons, with the crudest jokes I've ever heard, and I respond exactly how they want me to every time. Yesterday one of them hurt my feelings, he told me I was cute and really really conservative. Sigh, it was kind of hard to take, I hate how people often don't take me seriously, and how he jokingly belittled everything I hold so valuable. But then I started thinking, and I guess there is some truth to what he's saying, I am very narrow minded in lots of ways, partly because of the way I've been brought up, there are some things I have strong opinions against, but I'm not ashamed of that! I am really tired of being reduced to a 'cute little girl' as he called me though- so annoying! It makes me feel 2 years old! Not appreciated. anyway, rant over. I need to get stronger, to be more decisive, to care less what people think, to take criticism, to have more foresight, to not judge so quickly, to be more open minded, to believe I have something to offer people, to be more light hearted and less serious, to stop trying to grow up so fast, to be more outgoing, to make an effort with people and to place less restrictions on myself. Sigh. for now, I just need to sleep. 

I will cheer myself up by thinking about the week so far........ Tiger on thurs was pretty awesome, drank a lot, Greg's cousin kept buying me drinks, we bonded haha, it was nice to just let go and have fun, I wasn't driving for once so just enjoyed myself :) Crap music, but had fun dancing anyway, woke up with a massive bruise on my arm I don't remember getting, but I suspect is either from fighting with jeremy over the glowy bracelet thing, or tackling Raffi or ...no idea? haha

Friday: highlight was drinks on chapman's peak with kim, jess, laura, em and grant, watching the sunset- what a beautiful city I live in! Was hanging pretty badly though so early bedtime :P Oh I also went to kalk bay for breakfast- olympia croissant with mushroom and mozzerella mmmmm amazing! Oh and I saw em for a little bit, which was nice, love that girl :) 

Saturday: ummmm I wanted to go to the biscuit mill but never got there- next weekend! I went to pick and pay for braai stuff with greg in the am, chilled at his house for a bit. Then in the evening we had a braai at his house which was cool, watched the rugby with the australian cousins which wasn't a good idea as we lost! Braai was yummy, first braai of summer :) My potato salad was a winner haha. After that evening was a bit lame, bit of tension, but I played killing floor and shot lots of zombies with the boys which made greg happy- claire mustn't find out though, I'll be ostracized haha, oh and I almost won pool against the boys! Got to bed at 4:30 though, so tired!

Sunday: not very eventful, can't actually remember what I did! woke up late, came home, did some work for ekukhanyeni- I designed a calender for the sponsors, which we're going to get clint eastwood to sign and auction on ebay, designed the logo and invite aswell. Um then saw my family which was nice :) 

Monday: Gym with jessi- was proud of us for going, then went to long street with greg and bought a pretty pretty dress I couldn't actually afford but couldn't resist from journey. unimpressed bf for being dragged to long street. I saw the most beautiful old school cameras in one of the antique shops that I really want to get my paws on someday when I actually have a bit of cash! Went to mercury last night, which was ridiculously crowded, and as we got there they stopped playing the good music, so we moved to tin roof, which isn't my favourite. I'm really not a clubbing sort of person, but the cousins seemed to enjoy it! I was quite ashamed of my dancing skills compared to theirs! I need help! We left at 2:30ish, got juicy burgers, went home, chatted, got to be at 4:30 again. You have to remember I am a girl that usually can't stay awake past 10 so the past week has been impressive for me!

Today: Woke up late, out for lunch- princess sandwich yummmmmm, au pairing, home, lame tv, sleeeeeeeeeeeeppppp at last

 

a few verses of the love song of alfred j prufrock, which is a poem I love and will never quite understand, and possibly I love it more because of this.

For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,	50
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume? And I have known the eyes already, known them all—         55 The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase, And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin, When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall, Then how should I begin To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?         60   And how should I presume? And would it have been worth it, after all, After the cups, the marmalade, the tea, Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me, Would it have been worth while,         90 To have bitten off the matter with a smile, To have squeezed the universe into a ball To roll it toward some overwhelming question, To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead, Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—         95 If one, settling a pillow by her head,   Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.   That is not it, at all.” Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach? I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach. I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.   I do not think that they will sing to me.         125   I have seen them riding seaward on the waves Combing the white hair of the waves blown back When the wind blows the water white and black.   We have lingered in the chambers of the sea By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown         130 Till human voices wake us, and we drown.